Sunday, December 13, 2015

Macavity, the Mystery Manager


Macavity: The Maniac Cat
Macavity's a Maniac Cat; he's called the Silent Assassin
For he's the master sadist who can defy the process
He's the bafflement of Strategic Pun Group, the Global Pre___ 's despair
For when they organize the DSC, Macacvity's not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
He's broken every QD's law, he breaks the law of sanity.

His powers of micro-management would make a yogi stare,
And when you call him up —Macavity's not there!
You may seek him in the foundation, you may look up in the air—
But I tell you once and once again, Macavity's not there!

Macavity’s a maniac cat, he’s very tall and thin
You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in.
His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly domed;
His laptop is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed.
He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;
And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake.

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him in Bangalore, you may see him in the Chennai city—
But when am escalation happens, there’s no sign of Macavity !

He's outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
And his read receipts are not found in any email of Scotland Yard's
And when the Go No Go happens, or the Third eye is rifled,
Or when the tracker is missing, or another PQA’s been stifled,
Or the response template is broken, and the repository past repair
Ay, there's the wonder of the thing! Macavity's not there!

And when the Quality Office find a PRV’s gone astray,
Or the Sales miss someone’s name and email id by the way,
There may be a scrap of paper in the hall or on the stair—
But it's useless to investigate—Macavity's not there!
And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say:
It must have been Macavity!'—but he's a mile away.
You'll be sure to find him typing, or tapping on his phone
Or engaged in making different representations in Microsoft zone.

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
There never was a boss of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an excuse, and one or two to spare:
And whenever the war room took place—MACAVITY WASN'T THERE !
And they say that all the bosses whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention KBX, I might mention PP)
Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time
Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!

Monday, December 7, 2015

Parjanya, O Parjanya!

Parjanya 

Parjanya or Indra refers to thunder God.

1 Dec 2015 - Tuesday
Chennai woke up to heavy rains and thunderstorms, we residents, watching out of our windows and praying “Oh no! Not again” or perhaps hoping “this time it wouldn’t be that bad”.

Opened the door to see the familiar Blue milk packet lying outside, hinting that the roads were commutable so far. Perhaps, it would be just another rainy day to scare and would subside in time. Perhaps it would be just another of those days that could be managed by working from home. Hurriedly, I logged onto my office machine to clear out the backlogs, just in case, there is a power outage. Two hours passed, the rains did show some signs of getting abated. The power didn’t go away yet. Slightly relaxed, I thought, looks like the Mets were right, it would be just moderate to heavy rains.  Perhaps I should now relax.  Sent some emails and shut down the machine and went off to prepare my breakfast (or may be brunch) now.
Soon, the rains picked up and I looked down to see my car getting drenched in the downpour. Cursed myself, I should have parked it in a better place, probably, with a shade. Promised myself that as soon as rains would halt, I would do the same. Anyways, increasing rains started worrying me now. Now I must do a marathon and finish all the pending work. Went to the kitchen and checked out the groceries. Probably sufficient to last for 2-3 days. Slightly relaxed, booted my laptop and continued working, occasionally, catching glimpses of the sky and surfing about weather forecast almost every hour.
It became almost night and rains did pause. Seizing the opportunity, rushed downstairs and parked my vehicle in a shaded parking. Came back and prepared dinner and debated on whether to continue working or just sleep. Feeling more optimistic, finished dinner and dozed off.

2 Dec 2015 – Wednesday
Very heavy rains and strong winds through the window woke me up early and made me immediately sit up straight. All the sleep vanished. It was very windy and I could see the clouds getting darker. The visibility was reduced drastically. Renewed fresh concerns in me and made me promptly open my laptop to finish my work in fast track mode. Now and then a few power cuts started making me more jittery. By noon, I was completely done with my work and sent out my deliverables through email.  Office communication just declared holiday for today. Made me feel relaxed as well as anxious. And then 10 mins after that, power went away. Close shave!

Now there was nothing much to do but just look out and witness nature lash its fury upon us and break its 100 year record. Is it a proud moment to witness ? May be I can later on say “ I was right in the middle of those historic rains”. May be it is not so romantic after all, especially, if you are the one stuck in it. Last day, it had rained more than the entire usual Dec month. Urgently, made some phone calls back home and apprised them of the current situation assuring them that I am in a better place in Chennai and they need not worry, and informed them of a possible telecommunication network break down.

I started racking my brains hard for anything that can be done, should the rains become worse. Looked at my mobile phone and was happy to see the cell battery as full, however, there was no network signal.  Made me realize the gravity of the actual situation. So this is it. It’s happening now. The worst rains in Chennai have landed now. Power is down, network is down. It is getting dark. What more now?


3 Dec 2015 - Thursday
Power came back admist the heavy rains. Well, it was not the EB power but the DG backup arranged by the maintenance team. Checked the internet for the various photos that started reeling in from different localities. Although it was easy to fantasize about those pics yesterday, but deep in  heart, never really believed or wanted it to happen. Waist deep water, Cars half submerged. Offices closed. Hospitals flooded. Roads blocked. No milk this time, outside the door. No newspaper as Hindu said they wouldn’t print it that day. AAI announced that Chennai airport is closed and would resume on 6th Dec only.
Again checked out the ration in the house and they suddenly looked much lesser than the day before. Consoled myself that someone would do something and it wouldn’t be that bad. After that, I happen to be lucky enough to be staying in a relatively, privileged society and if they can provide DG backup, they would definitely help to handle any worse situation.
With nothing else to do, turned back to internet and again got overwhelmed with the various tweets that brought out the good Samaritans in the city. Tweets regarding offering shelter and food to strangers, sharing important contacts, preparing crowd sourced maps of rain affected areas made me wonder if social media would actually be effective.
There were news of this being called national disaster and NDRF (National Disaster Response Force) teams being called. Navy and military columns being sent to rescue people. Food packets being dropped to needy.  Boats were being pressed into action. Thank God, Chennai city had good number of fishermen which ensured ready availability of boats.  
Yes, social media was also flooded with information on all of these and it was really working.
It soon caught the attention of the entire world and coincidentally, at the Paris climate summit happening at the same time, this was mentioned. Some blamed the civic infrastructure, while others blamed the lack of readiness. Some experts even went to the extent of suggesting this as an outcome of climate change, perhaps global warming. But, we, common man were more worried about the operations on the ground. Water rising to more than 6ft and entering houses had to be dealt with. Hundreds of people stranded at airport, railways stations and bus stops.
In my heart, I thanked myself of staying in a better locality where water logging was not there and I had power in my flat and was still connected to the world. But at the same time, also felt greatly sympathetic to those who didn’t share the same luxury and whose top priority was pure survival. Perhaps the army and NGOs would rescue them in time. They would be given food packets. Patients airlifted to other hospitals, students moved out by helicopters via naval base airport “Arrakonam” and alternate airport in Tambaram depicted that the situation was under control. News of around 70,000 people vacated in a day allayed my fears and heightened my sense of the respect for the volunteers. Being satisfied with the rescue measures, I went to bed.

4 Dec 2015 – Friday
Rains slowed and halted in afternoon. Various communications from different bodies truly showed the human spirit in those corporate companies.  Banks stated that they wouldn’t charge penalty if EMI was delayed, BSNL made landline calls free for a week, other telecom operators gave free talk time and data packs, MTC buses offering free rides for 4 days. Malls offering space to needy for shelter. IT companies ensured the critical staff and their families were moved to safer sites wherein they could help companies critical operations. I went out and refilled groceries partially. The fear of exhausting cash stopped me from stocking more groceries as ATMS were down. There were intermittent rains, sometimes heavy and sometimes moderate, which hinted that they would take their time and would not spare Chennai sooner and we better get used to it. The apartment pasted a notice that diesel was running out and now the backup would be restricted to 2 hours per day. Well, having seen the worst rainfall, power outages now hardly seemed to be the issue. What mattered now was planning for the worst. What if the rains did not abate ? How would be vegetables, milk and groceries be available to the residents. Will the government have enough food packets for us all. How would help reach the “island” city ? What if an epidemic breaks ? What if crime increases like it happened during hurricane Katrina in US ? Such wild thoughts and concerns continuously swept through the mind and we were just wanting to rains to stop briefly so that those wavering thoughts could also be silenced.

5 Dec 2015 – Saturday
Looks like rains stopped and airport started partial operations. But we couldn’t let our guard down. I rushed outside to the road with umbrella tucked in searching for ATMs. They were dead and I recounted the cash. During ordinary days, it would be sufficient for atleast a week, but in such crisis and panic situation, it just didn’t look enough. Still bought some vegetables and turned back. Water logging started receding and for the first time in as many days, saw clear skies and a very brief period of sunlight and optimism. Shops had opened hoping to make up for the last business. Saw some MTC buses and brought delight to our faces. But in a moment, the clouds turned grey and greyer and heavy rains started pouring in.
Cheated, I felt cheated by Parjanya. What more you want, Parjanya ? Did you not see our resilience and our patience and determination? Do you still want us to prove that again ? Ok, we will manage. It is not the first time. We will survive.

6 Dec 2015 – Sunday
Skies were dry except for few light rains. The fear was gone, the airport was more or less functional. I could see people packing luggages and leaving for Bangalore, Coimbatore, Kochi, Madurai and Delhi. One of the few ATMS had started working and after being in queue for 45 minutes, I was able to withdraw some cash. That soothed my nerves and I walked calmly back to my house.
Telecom signals came back, Power got restored now, Lifts started operating in apartment suggesting signs of coming back to normalcy.
Now, it is time to plan for office work. Office communications displayed the BCP plans for the week and advised ways to stay safe and healthy. It was good to see BCP actually in play and appreciated the hard work put in by the DR teams.

Lastly before going to bed checked the weather forecast. Met predicts more rains in the coming days but who cares about it anyways now!!!